You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
