I puked a lego.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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