the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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