i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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