I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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