i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
