Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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