your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
