Who wears a wallet chain?!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
