It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
