it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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