have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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