I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
