Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
