So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
