i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"