so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you would pick up someone in the library
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.