I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
it was like eating out sand paper
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.