Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.