O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
