I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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