All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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