drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
