You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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