Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
