I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
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he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
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You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize