i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
