I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You were trust falling into bushes
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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