i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
