singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
