shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
