you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize