Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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