Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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