If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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