i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
