We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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