is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
