but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
