i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize