I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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