Pants 0. Shit 1.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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