I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
