my soul wont recognize me after tonight
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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