This gyro tastes like lonliness
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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