uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
