so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
