idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You left your underwear on the fireplace
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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