once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
