Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
