this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
