Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
sex in a hospital.. check
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
