My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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