just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
