i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
