he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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