she woke up with a sticky ear
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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