these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
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she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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