I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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