I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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