I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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