at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
