The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
