you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
