you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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