i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
