she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
