Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dick very happy bro
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
