I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
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She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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