I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
